Friday, October 16, 2009

Kuch un-chhue se panne

This life, as we know it..or have come to know of it..this life isn't always lived in the full-ishment of the moments it brings..In the language of a book, we don't always read the pages word to word to word or end to end...some engrossing pages do get that rapt an attention from us but not all the pages are that lucky..there are some pages which we just flip thru..breezing thru it...giving it a mere cursory look...and then there are some..which we start with an abandon..we do not know what's there in it..and we hardly care ..or expect anything from it..but after sometime...we suddenly start feelin gravitated towards it...ye kahani meri zindgi ke us panne ki hai....a story that lasted a day...but the caress of it i still feel today...it had a magic in it...a mystique..mystique of the unknown...


day was my medical day for telcon...actually it was the following day coz i'd bungled up the previous day...coz they said i'd not come with full preparation...i hadn't brought my photographs !! dude..u check my soul's humble abode for all the bacteria and virus u suspect it might be housing....bt why do u need my pic...?? that can't give u my blood sample...i can..and i am here....bt anyways..they didnt listen to me and i was asked to report the next day for the same thing...and i came back...and came back shivendra and anoj...my would-be colleagues in the company...with an understanding but its-all-bcoz-of-u-moron look ...

the formals all spoiled...as were the creases on them ( yappy..we'd gone for our medicals in all formals....sheer nuts we were...we were expecting sum stately welcome by the company...) they were still donned...though their first day glory had all but gone...we reached the company gates by 8 o'clock...and our apprehensions regarding the 'work culture' in the company got a pleasant shock when we saw our colg senior riding piggy-back to the office on a female's scooty...yippee..this was some place to work for...( hope u'll understand the exorbiant celebrations for a rather minnor incident considering that i was from NIT Jsr..and Mechanical branch at that...!! why do females never turn to this 'evergreen' branch isn't a big mystery but certainly is an unfortunate fact.)


khair, nazara khatam bhi hua..and then we were asked to report to the tata motors hospital..and then we were taken to the Works hospital at the tata motors main gate where we were given a chit of paper and were asked to report at the Tata Motors hospital where we duly reported sum 30 mins later. My memory fails me in recollecting the exact sequence of various check ups that we went...n even the count of them...bt the one that ws particularly heart warming n sth that'd tickle me for quite a long time happened during the eye check up session..before which we had been thru some 3-4 sessions...

anyone who's been to the eye-check up section in the telco TMH knows how the entrance hall is..u enter at one corner of a hall that wud be sth like 20m x 10 m in dimensions...and...imagine urself facing such a hall...we entered thru the doorway at extreme left on the length-ward side...barring the door, the wall had big airy windows all along the length...the exit to the hall was on the width-ward side on the right as one entered the hall...ya..unnecessary architecture details bt try imagining the situation coz that'd add to the fun part of the story...now...this hall had long planked wooden benches placed parallel to the width-wise wall... and there ws one row of benches surrounding the entire inner perimeter of the hall all around these parallel set of benches..


we guys duly took the benches right across the entrance...dnt remember the logic behind it part of the reason ws it ws vacant...bt the reason cudn't have been that we wanted to keep an eye on the crowd coming in...coz we'd estimated...as were soon to find out...wrongly...that we'd get any females worth looking at...whatever be the logic...the bench that we took came in very handy in what happened next...the time was sth around 10:30 -11:00 in the mrng..n we hadnt had anything for breakfast....and since our turns cud cum anytime...we decided to have sth to eat at the hospital canteen turn by turn...the canteen ws down a flight of stairs from the hall..we were about to take our turns to go hog some food when two females enetered the hall...not suddenly..somehow they entered the room in a very fluid motion...burqa-clad they were...both were almost of the same height...spectacled..n we weren't jerked into looking at them..sumhw our eyes jst followed them right from the time they entered...from whatever i recollect...they didnt pay us any attention initially n took the bench diagonally opposite to ours...as it usually happens in such cases...i looked at them once n then looked away..anoj did the same..n so did shivendra..n the cycle kept conitnuing in a randomn order...suddenly..anoj yelled mumbling-ly..."abey revi ( he he...he still calls me the same way...bloody mallu) they're lookin at you.."..."WHAT"..i almost jumped with alarm...not that i didnt notice that they too had begun looking at us..bt i didnt kno that they were lookin at me..nt that i didnt want it...bt i actually didnt think this cud happen..n even after hearing anoj i didnt quite believe it but a few more glances firmed his declaration....they were looking at me..!! god...wat was this happening now..i had gootten a placement only recently and i knew i might jst..jst be an appealing prospect to sum female who came to kno abt it bt that wasnt the case here...they cudn't have known this..n were looking at me despite this...wooh...i ws SUMTHING...i ws elated...seriously...i started looking at them with some seriousness of purpose....



i forget a lot of the day...abt the day...bt nt that sth had started happening between us...of that i'm sure even today..i kept looking at her..she kept looking at me..n then..when she finally left after her check up...which was after about an hour after all this had begun..she left the room with her eyes still on me...kya tha woh..i haven't gathered that so far...bt still re-live that day sometimes...thinking what, after all, was it about...she left the room...and then walked by the adjoining corridor and was still keeping her eyes on me...needless to say that i too was doing the same..but...wat was disturbing..or pleasing...was the fact that she kept looking at me fixatedly...WHY..?? guys ogle at girls n that's normal...i too look at girls but only fleetingly...bt that day was different...her gaze was firm...sth that behold my gaze to her...n sth i cud do nuthin abt then...


then i thought she ws gone n it was time for me to do sth abt my tummy too...coz shivendra n anoj had come back from their hogging trips...so i went down...n lo !!..i saw her in the medicine-collecting queue downstairs...god..wat was all this..anyways..i dint stop at the queue..coz she ws standing in teh queue while her elder sister kept loitering at the end of it...i kept my eyes down n passed by...took a cup-maggi noodles (that ws the only time i've had that rather bland cup noodles thing)...and started walking up n down the stall in the hospital courtyard...honestly..i ws so smitten by her that i cudn't think of anything...n wat ws i smitten with..?..i cudn't see her face..dint hear her talk o laugh..her figure wasn't even make-out-able under that black burqa thing...fir kaun si cheez thi jo mujhe uski taraf kheeche hue thhi...god knows..sth in her miens..sth that i can't put my fingers on even today...i made sure of walking upto the medicine queue everytime i walked down that way...n funnily...when i came back the first time...she'd replaced her sister at the loitering position n her sister (poor her) was standing in the queue...so intent was her gaze...i kno i've repeated myself so thoroughly that this write up might be called boring hands down....bt plz try to understand...you dont come across such wishful n engaging n strong n why..even slightly flirty gaze everyday of your life...whoof...that ws when i decided that i shudn't let this thing jst get over...kuch to karna chahiye...she's dropped enuf hints now that she's interested...in wat and to wat extent is a different..she ws interested n that was all that hit me..i rushed back to anoj in the eye-check up hall...managed to grab a sheet of paper from somewhere..n wrote.."you're so very beautiful".. n wrapped the thing up..n put it in my papers...i dint used to have a cell phone in those days..to phone number de sakta tha nahi...lastly i decided ki mail-id he de do yaar...let there be some way in which she can reach me...instead of there being no way bt only a wish for one...


BUT..n this is a big but...by the time i came down with the write-up..she was gone from the queue..my heart raced..not now...plz not now...coz so long as now..i'd held my fort..i'd swayed only as much as she had..no less no more..bt now that i'd committed myself to the thing..she cudn't jst walk over me like the preening winner in a competition of chastity...i ran anoj outside the hospital building with myself...n caught a glimpse of the two sisters walking away slowly down the right side...normal si chaal thi..normal si bandi log waali...n they were guffawing all the way...maybe i ws the thing to be laughed at in their conversations...bt that's only a guess...bt then...there hadn't hapnd anything more..or even comparatively eventful with them in the past 2-3 hours...n tell me..what's so funny/laugh-worthy/amusing about a guy who's simply smitten with you...i guess u can be proud or happy about it...bt u can't laugh off at it...that's not decent..that's not hw nice ladies behave..n trust me..i dont look a fool at all so that that could be justified..mujhe khud ke baare me koi galat-fahmi nahi hai bt i know at least this mcuh abt myself..that i appear sober...coz i invest a lot at it..coz i am IT by nature...n that shows.. n that's sth i swear by sliently everytime i doubt myself..anyways..


i went by her ....slowed down the bike..almost stopped it...n said very politely..excuse me...n she didnt stop...pretending that she didnt hear a thing..excuse me, ma'm...i cried out louder this time...bt she kept walking on..this time with a firmness that was meant to convey that she wouldn't wait..that she'd keep walking..that she always was going to just keep walking...


two things come out of it...first..wat did she gain by it..? why did she do it..? if she wanted to retain teh moral high of not committing a sin against her chastity..or put a milder word for it there..then she didnt succeed..her eyes had given her away a looooong time ago...n she dint hear to herself when she jst kept walking on...despite having wanted to stop..n that i'm sure of...


second thing..wat did i gain by it...? i was in a relationship then..i had sumone in my life whom i loved... a lot...then wat ws i doing there...n why...i had broken her trust n my loyalty in those 2-3 hrs...bt i'd done nothing...maine baat bhi nahi kari...hye-bye bhi nahi kiya..fir bhi kuch to galat ho gaya tha na shayad..



that's how life is...things hardly end on a perfect note...or in a way you want them to...or in a way you think they can...sometimes we lose ourselves in a few windy moments... n keep coming back to it to for the rest of our lives...to know ourselves better...to gain sth that ws lost there forever...to inspect wat exactly we'd wanted then in our life n from our life..n sumtimes..we jst go back to those times jst to re-live the moments...inhi khatti-meethi yaadon se to bani hoti hai ye cheez..ye jo zindgi ki kitaab hai...!!

3 comments:

prerana said...

bakwaas.,

tnm said...

yeh acha hai... jo mann mein aye likh do... stupid ppl... aaj kal log kuch bhi likh dete hai...

sandeep singh said...

ravi...well written..dats d situation all of us has udergone atleast once..... "The 50% luv story"... but nobody has written it as you have done.

And those two comments above are most idiotic and baffling..... no wonder both are gurlsssss.