In memoriam of a fighter...

Well...this is gonna be a commentary....sans statistics though...both because i do not have much of a taste for it and me being pretty bad in places where stats get involved...



8 0'clock..25th april...sunny saturday morning....i amble towards the mess listlessly...as if i don't care if the world's going to doom...or that...if i feel like goin for a break-fast for breaking my morning fast...but then came bhai's howler, just so as i was approachin the mess doors..."metch dekhne chalega be..?? " which was less of a question n more of an invitation...."kiska metch he bhai..??" suddenly i ws in a terrible mood of leg-pulling ( considering that bhai is one of those softer souls...ye indore ke log bade meethe hote hain (for all the stupidity n lacunae in english language...i wish i cud make that indore sound as bhai bleats it out..shit..that is gud fun )...n even when they're in a bad mood of slang...all that they're letting out are soft-sounding expletives...like those showy crackers...all show..no noise..n ultimately no harm done )...."compsci aur trical ka he...chalega kya....?"....n i came alive...somehow i knew that i wanted to go..without mine even knowing it...."chaliye bhai"..i replied....then popped nits' nike keys outta bhai's pocekts..n we two hopped on our rampyari...though the down's ground is barely a sweat-breaking walk away....bt we lazzards could hire a servant even for wiping our asses....if only we had our ways with the world !! [;)]




down's ground..."gaurav aur goyal c*** machaaye hue hain..pahle hi over se"....oh shit...i'm left thinkin wat do to next..as if my gettin worried cud help a thing...dhaklu's over comes....some dots..some misses...n then bang...some sixes too...shit yar...ye dhaklu aisi ball kyu daal raha hai...gaurav really was on fire..shit..save dhaklu, i'd never have rooted for compsci....they never had given me such a holy reason....bt then...jst seeing the odds stacked against him made the worshipper in me come alive...praying for him...n hoping for myself.....it'd be sufficient to say that the trical team fills the bulk of the college cricket team...rahul, sandeep bhaiya, joythi, chinki, goyal, gaurav, mukim....n who ws there in compsci....dhaklu alone...the rest were nt even knowing how to hoink a bat dammit..!! (save for the perennial colg team bordeline stuff mahwari )...these lines do not stand to disgrace the compsci team..they jst show how neez stands towering above them all...TOWERING, no less



the fire seemed to be focussing on goyal's assbhole initially...(n around gaurav's by then ) there ws no stopping goyal's strokes....the sixes were all neat....n the boundaries found their paths well...they didn't need the mercy of compsci fielders....which they were more than willing to provide, as the ensuing match soon proved....me n bhai were almost in shunting as audiences ( quite an achievement for trical team coz i pride myself in being a live audience..one that keeps its tempo up....shoutin n howling all the time...though i must admit that i'm no match for gujju..n figure nowhere near either his vocal chord abilities or the rapid-fire, apt one-liners..he's the hands' down champ....n to my dismay..was leaving no stone unturned in verbally raping the compsci fielders...poor them )



sumhw goyal got out..dunno hw exactly...bt his brief fiery knock at the top ws well acknowledged by the audience...which ws a paltry figure at around twenty...plus the team....bt all charged up....ow....missed this one....a few balls ago...gaurav hit a six over long-on...n rahul bucked him up thus .." theek hai babu theek hai...utha utha ke maaro "...he he...n then came the super move..rahul whispered a few bits of super secret strategy in mukim's ears..handed him a bottle of water n sent him to the batsmen...goyal n gaurav...both unwilling for it...goyal more so coz he'd got gutkha under his cheeks...bt they had to go for it as rahul yanked from the boundary line "goyal paani pee lo yaar " he he...send him a grass joint,rather, rahul sir...shouted some witty junio...n so true he was...power play had gotten over by this incident and it soon brought the demise of goyal with it.....who walks in next.....rahul..our own rahul raj....



black track-pants...hawai chappals in the feet..n a camouflage cap...with its rear holding strings knotted together as the li'l clamps had broken away looooooong time ago...n under the cap bobbed the bobby-deol-esque hair....that looks so gross that guys can use only one moniker for it...j****...( ya..no prizes on guessing this one )....bt it'd be sufficient to say that rahul got out soon after...no fan-fare at all...an inner-edge thru to azad..atta boy..well caught...more so...coz he'd hardly been holding onto the regular wicketkeeper balls....forget this whisker stuff from rahul's bat....



but the fire had nw moved from the surroundings to right to the centre of gaurav's ass**** nw...i swear i've never seen him hit so neatly....all shots were nice cricketing strokes...textbook aggression..no edges...no need of improvisation at all....adding to compsci woes were its wayward bowlers n supremely inefficient fielders....which team can afford 20+ runs as leaks from fielding in a 130 scoreline in a 20 over match...kudos to sandeep bhaiya n his hare-feet....he made those singles converted to doubles look so easy in the end....leaving me stomping my feet in frustration..n venting all my ire on the below kid-level fielding of the compsci....fine u do not play cricket round the year..fine u can't collect the ball without a fumble....bt at least u cud've brought some damned passion in the game.....u cud at least have run faster...reached the ball faster....that cud've cowed the batsmen from stealing an extra run at least....if nt prevent them totally....n if not for ur own or team's sake..then at least for dhaklu's sake....poor him....so poor him...he shifted himself to all those places which looked vulnerable areas bt then..a single guy can't man an entire cricket field....coz..trust me..if that was humanly possible...dhaks wud've been the first one to do it..he is mr. 100 % commitment....n whatever cricketing sense he lacks in....if any...he makes it up with his passion....n that's raw passion for game on display in those times....



okies..somehow the trical innings near an end....last over remaining..score's around 100...dhaklu walks to the bowling crease....first ball..dot....bt then someone shouts from teh boundary lines...."neeraj can't bowl....2 bowlers from his team have already bowled 4 overs each...." so much for stupid regulations...chhah....he was dejected....dhaklu was dejected all over....kicking the ball in frustration...bt then dawned a horror upon us....gaurav on fire..sandeep bhaiya in no mood to relent either..n in this ..who'd be the one to take the cudgels in the last over....n we see the crowd dispersing from the bowler's crease...leaving rajnish behind...oh shit...!! no kidding...is it rajnish who'll bowl the last over...?? poor compsci...n so true i was...after some 2-3 sixes..n a boundary...n some doubles....n gaurave getting out on the last ball in dhaklu's hands on long-off..the score had reached 134....with dhaklu's men having a tall order in front of them....considering the fact that dhaklu ws the only man in his team (talking strictly in cricketing terms ).....n even the trical team was aware of it....they dreaded dhaks ....and the fear was not unfounded.....




i rushed to the mess for a quick breakfast....bt rascal ghosh da.....he can't even fix a quick 2-paratha breakfast....i cudn't see the compsci innings start..n by the time i came back..sachin ws back in the pavilion...bt what i saw when i reached the ground was a merciless beating...which at least i had never seen being heaped on rahul....rahul raj....undoubtedly one of the best bowlers in business....n humble novices consider themselves supremely lucky if they manage to hit him for a four..without getting out at the end of the over that is...coz rahul fights back real hard...bt here..he had been hit for 2 sixes and a four...all clean hits...surgical precision....no ball landing near the boundary line....all landing decently far in the no-man's land...god...rahul had taken a real smothering...scoreline read....3 overs 38...n when compsci's score reached 48....dhaklu had 41 runs out of them....dhaklu had scored a 13 ball 37 run knock at a time....bt..wat happened in the nxt 6 overs was sheer madness n stupidity....dhaklu getting strike for only a ball or two each over....n the rest of teh compsci batsmen kept falling like nine pins...sheer nuts they all were..all getting out trying to tear the ball into smithereens...wat was most unfortunate ws that they didnt even try to realise that it ws enough to give the strike to dhaklu to ensure a win for themselves.....fine...accept it that u r not all supermen...no one will say a word against u..bt then..there's a guy who is superman..who knows wat is a superman..n he will do the superman stuff....he jst asked one question of all the compsci ppl....will u let me do the superman effort....?? n they all failed him....n themselves in the end




joythi bowled 2 choking overs...dhaklu hardly getting strike....n then came the ever-wily sandeep bhaiya..a master-stroke from rahul..he hadn't bowled even once in the tournament....some injury...bt he came forward to bowl some spinnners...rahul knew it wasnt his pace that was required nw..bt his craft n experience....some 4 overs left ....and 48 still required....and...it is feat to neeraj that no one on the ground thought it was un-do-able...everyone believed..ya, BELIEVED..that it'd be a cakewalk if only he'd stay..bt that wasn't to be..he kept being out of strike running twos...n by nerds going for mis-hits at the batting crease....chhah....if i was getting this frustrated outside the ground...wat wud've been going thru that lone warrior's mind....




last 2 overs...38 required...sandeep bhaiya walks in....first ball...six over long off...second ball...pitched slightly short than the previous delivery....dhaks takes a stride forward n rises into the shot...the ball soars towards the boundary..between cover n lon-off....not a single shot of his had been anywhere near the boundary line...bt this one was a few feet short..n manning the borders was ever-safe rahul...shit...he fell down....dhaklu got out...i almost let out a sigh....the jubilation of trical team showed their relief....n their knowledge that they'd finally won...




bt wat a game it was....trical won....bt nt against the compsci team..it won against a one-man army called neeraj....compsci hardly was a team....while trical ws too good...compsci was punctiliously outplayed...bt trical couldn't outplay dhaklu....he succumbed in the end..trying to win it...trying to win it on his own...his single self...u shud've seen his frustration when his team fielded badly..bowled badly....he didnt shout at them...he knew they had their limitations...he knew they were not that gud a team..bt he still urged them....to perform just to their own personla best levels....the nerds didnt provide him even that.....he went down fighting...n when he did go down...not a single bum was left sitting among the audience..everyone stood up to clap....befitting reception for a stunning inning....though gaurav outscord dhaklu...bt it ws for neeraj that the game had the slightest semblance of a MATCH....take dhaklu out n trical had won the match even before getting onto the ground....it was him who kept the match alive for 12.2 overs..




i still remember praying for him...praying with all that i'd got...in the name of so many things...ppl say everyone loves to cheer an 'under-dog'.....i wasnt doin that...he wasn't an under-dog..he was the guy who could take the fight to the opposition camp single-handedly..n he did it...i wasn't cheering for an under-dog..i ws cheering for a brave guy....who knew he was alone....who knew he was pitted against a very strong attack....but look at the sheer guts of the guy...he still believed he cud come out of it trumps....not a single shot of his was lazy...tired...he didnt give a single half-chance to the fielders (save one skier that blinded mukim momentarily in just tracking its rocketing trajectory )...bt then he fell in the end....scoring around 60 runs....in faaar fewer balls




cheers to u dhaks...u rock..n yes...u r the best.....rahul comes a close second [;)]

the dark night...darkest of my life...21st feb..

rishabh...and sahu ji...they've left us nw...a very sad demise...and one that wud haunt us for long...


strange questions come to the mind when the mind runs back to those times....papa had come that day...i could manage jst a 5 minute visit to the juke-box...wat did i see..?? naah...dekha toh bahut kuch..bt yaad bas kuch hi cheezein hain....sahu ji..tushu..n niraj...dance karte karte neeche baith chuke thhe...tired...bt still jhoomte hue....almost like 3 nuts swinging around a bonfire after having a swig or two....to thier right were rishabh and sumant...both very poor dancers (after all..i never considered the baraati version of dance as dance )...bt uss din 'thumke' laga rahe thhe dono...rishabh showing the way to sumant...pata nahi...dekha to bahut kuch tha...bt these images jst dont fade....


i came back from there at around 9:30...took papa for dinner in the mess...n then came back to the room...went back to the ground floor for getting some water for papa..n that's when i got the first piece of news....guys clamoring near the stairs...sumant urging all of them to come to the TMH with him...that was enuff to convey the msg...sth unforeseen...n terrible had occurred...i rushed back to the room n changed...i jst wanted to reach TMH...bt papa woke up...wat to do nw..?? ab jaau ya nahi....papa talked me out of it...n anyways..after the afternoon fiasco i was in no mood to give papa anything that wud start a gud lecture....ultimately i decided against it...i had to...


bt i knew that sth real bad had hapnd when pandey came up shouting....he never does that...n i knew i couldn't not go anymore...i almost snapped at dad n bade him gudnight...i knew i had to go...me ...pandey..n dipesh left for TMH..



there's very small a chance that i'd forget that night in my lifetime...that night o the following day...i'd never lived any longer night...long..disturbing...questioning...i couldn't u'stand wat was going on....guys from the colg lining both the sides of the TMH entrance road...sandeep bhaiya going berserk with tears...some other people sobbing too...rahul broke the news to me....rishabh aur sahuji nahi rahe...i dint kno hw to react....o to react at all....i'd gone numb...i didnt kno wat to do...i didnt feel the loss on a personal level that day..bt what i saw around me was colossal...before that daaark night..i never had felt a loss...i didnt u'stand the word 'dead'...me n niraj were coming to terms with the news our own ways...he'd staretd feeling giddy almost immediately...n i dint kno hw to react at all...faces around me..faces n faces n faces...hope n fear written over most of them...they had been declared brought dead..bt everyone was living in self-denial there..no one believed it...i guess no one could...people were jst breaking down on my left and right...i thought i'd never have the courage to go n actually see them...bt after sometime...i couldn't wait anymore...the rumors flowing thick n fast made matters worse...our mental state was anything bt something that could take it...niraj had actually been to the ward n seen 'em....n asked me not to do it...bt i couldn't...i had to get stable in my mind...ya, it sounds bad bt u wudn't know wat we were going thru...death had to have a finality if it was there..coz death uncertain was making everything all the more horrendous there....


i took dhaklu with me...almost pulled him to the ward by his hands....i had to see them...even in times as sad as the one we were in..its important to make peace with ur demons..ur fears...n i had to do it for that...i saw sahu ji n rishabh...lying side by side on stretchers...they had been placed in the section marked DEAD BODIES already by the time we reached there...then wat was that shit going outside - its time to pray...we still have hope....wat shit was that...how can someone stoop so low....we had already lost them...n it was an insult to make ppl hope that it hadn't happened....the worst had hapnd dudes...they were gone



bt death brought no special specimens with it...both of them looked as if they were asleep...bt the eyes had lost their glint....that fluid gateway that shows the light of life even in a sleeping eye..that was gone...the body had nt gone cold o sth..it had yellowed though...sahuji salivated on the sides..it had all dried...water trickled down from the back of his head..below the stretcher it was forming a thin sloshy film already....i held his hands...felt nuthin different...bt no pulse therein...


kah nahi sakta kya kuch gujar raha tha uss din..mere par..hum sab par...i dnt know wat we all had done wrong....and why we were made to see wat we were seeing...and wat wrong had they done..?? why did they depart...so soon..so bloody soon at that..abhi kya zindgi dekhi thi unhone..??abhi kya zindgi dekhi thi humne...why...wat was the hurry god...weren't we gud as kids...why did u have to grow us into men in a day...we never said we wanted to grow so much in a day..so damned much that we'd forever look back at the day and say...wat the f*** did god have in his mind...?? kya dikhaana chaahta tha woh...ya he his all-mighty...bty why show the might for might's sake..?? yeah we admit u can do stuff that can change our lifes n lifetimes in a second....bt ...like this..like this God...!?




kuch bhi kar lu...uss din ki yaadein nahi jaati...lagta hai jaise abhi kal ko hi dekha tha...rishabh aur sahuji ko...looks like i'd jst bump into them in the mess...rishabh wud shout "Mr. Ghosh" and then bellow with a hearty bt reckless laughter....sahuji wud come to the mess in the end...and wud start his meal-athon...ghosh da will get more freckles on his foreheadby every second...sahuji chewing his meal silently n happily...god..u shud have seen hw sahuji blushed at the mere mention of food...huh


it all seems like jst y'day..they were here...near us...around us...bt nw they are gone..gone forever...call them back..n they won't come...i know even they'd be dying to come back...bt this bloody God business sucks....sucks big time...